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Sunday, February 23, 2014

Monday, February 10, 2014

The Chambers Opened - fiction

Since the Sphinx was uncovered from the dessert it's purpose and secrets have been debated.

Friday, February 7, 2014

More from - The Haikus

These are compliments of myself and one of my co-workers... I'll post more as we write them...
The first (and viewable in another post):
Special order stuff
Shipped directly to you
Need name and address

New watch battery
five dollars for me to change
More money elsewhere

New watch battery
Pop off back with screwdriver
Do not stab yourself

"I want a remote"
said the mean cranky old man
"Give me tis one now"

No we do not sell
Crappy patch antennas here
Please look elsewhere

"What is wrong with this?"
"There is nothing wrong with it?"
"Why is it on sale?"

"I am just looking"
Get the f%$k away from me.
I will steal stuff now.

"Do you match prices?"
"No we do not" said the clerk.
"Do it anyway."

Rugrats clocks suck a@s
We ordered too many
Now forever ours.

Toilet paper gone?
How are we supposed to work
Far too many hours?

Employees work hard.
Company steals from us.
Why should I bother?

Too much time at work.
Not enough money to live.
My debt grows larger.

School is expensive
They claim to help pay for it.
Lies, too many lies.

I hate my job much.
I should have left long ago.
I'm not coming back.

This job really sucks
I should leave while I still can
Can't find better now.

My empty paycheck
Disappears every time
Monthly cash outflow

Little old lady
Completely helpless today
Get with the times, please

Women at the shack
can know just as much as me
customers think not.

other places hire
more incompetent people
I am paid far less

"This is defective"
Cardboard still in the unit
"Now it will work fine."

Stupid little kids
Make messes for me to clean
Parents just don't care

Investment broker
Too ignorant to admit
that we might be right

District meeting day
happy fun for employees
we all hate them much

leaving job very soon
going to get twice the pay
twice nothing still zilch

Antenna goes in
RF out to the TV
Baffles too many

Morons do not know
How to use their VCR
RTFM, please.

Throw money at me
You cantankerous old man
I don't wan't to help

No I do not know
Phone numbers for other stores
I suggest phone book.

Incompetent man
Always extreme technophobe
"Change my batteries"

2 8 99
My original hire date
no tenure for me
(Note: tenured employees received $.15 / hour more than non-tenured. "Tenured meant a year at full time or the hours equivalent. This was posted 2-20-02)

Other retailers pay
As opposed to slave labor
So why am I here?

Endlessly spinning
This little planet orbits
R.S. kills us all.

Do you have questions?
I have some of the answers
for stuff purchased HERE.

I bought this elsewhere
It needs a power supply
No, too expensive.

You bought it elsewhere
How am I supposed to know
how to fix that thing?

I want to use both
VCR and Antenna
without cable change

use them the right way
antenna into vcr
then to the TV

no more shack for me
i quit and now i am free
radioshack sucks.

I found an old archive of RadioShackSucks.Com....

I posted some funny things on that site a long time ago. I am glad the archive exists so I can retrieve and save those things.

Here they are, in no particular order (minor edits made if I discovered a spelling mistake in the original)

Story 0
(A story that I am surprised I did not post on the forum but which I distinctly remember)
It was a Sunday.
An older man entered the store.
He demanded hearing aid batteries very loudly.
We helped him find them and assisted him in changing them.
He made the adjustments until he could hear.
He then berated us for working on a Sunday because it is The Lord's Day.
I outlined that we would all be happy to not have to work on Sundays and that it was not our choice to do so.
He continued to berate us and the company for being open on Sundays.
I pointed out that if no customers came in to the store to buy hearing aid batteries on Sundays there would be no reason for us to be open.
He got angry and did the closest thing to storming out of the store he could accomplish.

Story #1
Any of you ever have someone too dumb to own a cordless phone. I don't mean a cellphone, but just a normal, household cordless phone.
I had a customer, a little old lady, who purchased a cordless phone (the $25 christmas special)...
She came in the very next day holding the power cord, the phone cord, the base and the handset. Her statement: "It came in four pieces! What am I supposed to do with them all!?"
I quietly and politely took the phone base and the two cords and I plugged the cords into the base and said, politely "This cord plugs into the electrical outlet and this one plugs into a phone jack."
She, first of all, did not understand that the phone and the electricity were two different jacks and then when I explained it did not understand why she needed both.
I finally convinced her that she did need both to make it work. Then she tried to tell me that she did not have any phone jacks. I asked her if she had a phone currently, she said she did. I told her that it is plugged into a phone jack. She did not believe me, but was willing to go double check.
She came back the next day with the phone. She said that I had been right and that there had been a different plug that the phone had been plugged into... she claimed she had gotten it all plugged in. She also said that she had received calls but was unable to make them.
So i tested the phone. It worked. She was surprised. She went away and came back again later that day with the same problem. So i hooked it up and asked her to call home. she just started dialing, I attempted to explain to her that she needed to push talk first, but that concept was above her abilities. I ended up taking a return on the phone.

Story #2
I recently had the misfortune to deal with a customer who was trying to make his internet connection faster. He cannot get a cable modem, nor can he get DSL. Therefore he is stuck on a 56K dialup. He came in to buy a new phone line. He was, and still is, convinced that this new line will speed up his connection. He argued with us. He insisted. If he had a bad cable to begin with this might be the case, but he claimed to have tried different cables both new and old with no noticeable result. He refused to believe that he can't increase his speed above 56k without getting broadband. He claimed it worked fine in a textbook, but that reality was a different case (which, I must admit is the way many things work, as textbooks demonstrate ideal world circumstances). He tried to tell us that when he upgraded from a 5200rpm hard drive to a 7400rpm hard drive that his internet connection sped up. He also tried to tell us that his download speed was increased by increasing his RAM as well. We tried to tell him that both of those things increase his ability to process information that he has already downloaded, but not the download process... he refused to believe us. He left angry.

Story #3
A woman came in. She said she needed an antenna for her TV. I asked what type. She said "you know, the simple ones" I said "rabbit ears?" and she looked at me like i had just spoken greek to her. I walked her over to the antennas and pointed out a pair. She agreed that that was what she needed. She then asked how one hooked them up to a TV. I told her, she did not understand. I decided to draw her a picture, she seemed to understand. I rung up the sale and she left, taking the picture. She returned the antenna the next day, unopened, because it was too complicated for her to hook up and that her husband would come and buy what he needed later. (updated note: she lived 45 minutes away and drove an F350; the rabbit ears cost $2.99 plus tax)

Story 4:
A man called one of my co-workers the other day. Apparently he had purchased a cellphone headset the day before and was experiencing difficulty with it. He wished to talk to another co-worker of ours regarding the issue, however that co-worker was not in. The individual that answered the phone offered assistance. The man on the phone accepted. The phone answerer asked "which headset do you have and what problems are you experiencing?" to which the man replied "Well, if you can't answer it then say so!" and he hung up the phone.

Story 5
At christmas time we were on extended hours. We rarely saw any customers at all until roughly an hour after we would normally have opened. 
Our store, along with every public place in this country, has doors that open outward to obey fire regulations. I know this rule, you know this rule, everyone should know this rule. In addition to this our store has little signs immediately under our hours sign stating "PULL" quite simply.
One day a lady attempted to enter our store at around noon (we normally opened at 10am) by walking into our door. It was quite humorous because she tried to push the door open and it would not move so she ran right into it. This agitated her. She stepped back and looked at her watch, then looked at the hours sign, looked in at us and stormed off.
About a half hour later she repeated this performance, with the exception that when she looked in at us she looked even more agitated.
Yet another half hour passed. She repeated her performance a third time, only this time there was a customer present and instead of being agitated she was very angry, she even started cursing at us through the doors. The customer asked why we didn't go help her... we informed him that she had done this twice already that morning and then asked him "If she can't figure out that the doors open outward do you really want to be the one to have to answer her questions about technology?" He immediately said "nope" and laughed. She then stormed out toward the parking lot almost getting hit by a car because she failed to look both way before walking into the traffic lane.....

Story 6:
A gentleman (I do like to be polite to/about customers when I can) who needed a part. I do not recall now what the part was, only that it was a part that is rare, not used very often, and not in high demand by the average customer. But it was available through RSU. I informed him of this. I informed him that we could place an order here in the store and he would pay $X plus tax and shipping and that the product itself would be sent directly to his home or office or whatever. First off he was extremely annoyed that I did not have the product in stock and demanded to know why. I informed him that it was a rarely purchased product for which there was too little demand to keep it in stock in every store. He, grudgingly accepted this explanation as he, himself had never known anyone to need the part before. I started to ring up the order and got to the address screen. This man was thoroughly consumed wit anger over the idea that I would even DARE to ask for that private information. I attempted to explain to him that I cannot place an order to have it shipped to his home without knowing where his home is. Apparently, this concept was too advanced for him as he said "forget it" and stormed out of the store. The customer in line behind him failed to understand what his problem was.

Story 7:
This one is something that happens all the time, usually about once per day.
My current store is in a strip mall or shopping plaza... whatever you prefer to call it.
Immediately next to us is a store that sells cigarettes and pretty much nothing else.
We have customers that enter the store frequently, walk about halfway in, stop, look up, look thoroughly confused then turn around and leave. When I first noticed this phenomenon I was confused, but then I watched where these people went. They all went next door. I am, however, still confused as to how that many people (many of them are repeat offenders) can fail to recognize the difference between a RadioShack and a small, non-chain smoker's store.

Story 8:
My current store has been around for 4-5 years.
It opened when another store about 2 blocks away closed (they essentially moved the store, even though it has a different store number, etc).

About 3 times a week I get customers that come in and ask how long my current store has been there. I inform them that it has been 3 to 4 years (i figure if I err on a conservative side then they are less likely to call me on it). Many refuse to believe this. One man in particular refused to accept it. I informed him that according to my manager, who has been the manager for my store since it opened, this store has been here for about 3-4 years. He proclaimed that I was either in error or I was lying to him (at least he was smart enough to understand that there are, in fact, more reasons for misinformation that lying) and that he was going to go to the store up the street (he referred directly to the one that closed when my store opened) and ask them how long my store had been opened. I, for lack of anything else to do, informed him that he was perfectly welcome to try, but he was unlikely to find an answer there as the store closed about 3-4 years ago, when my opened.
He left.

Story 9:
I probably could look around and find another place to post this.... but since i know that this thread exists I will post it here.

Today I had an older man come into the store.
I don't even remember what he bought, but I do remember that he freely gave his N&A to me.
Then he handed me his card for the purchase, and I ran it. It went through and the receipt printed.
I had him sign his copy and looked at the card.
The signature on the card was mostly legible, without knowing his name I would have been able, after looking at that signature, to tell you what his name was.
The signature on the slip was mostly illegible. Knowing what his name was made it almost possible to decipher the majority of it.
The following (approximation) conversation occurred:
Me: Do you have any ID with you?
Man: Why do you need that?
Me: The signatures don't match, sir.
Man: What signatures?
Me: The one on the back of the card and the one you just made on the slip
Man: Yes they do.
Me: Sir, I am sorry to say they do not, so I do need to see some ID to verify.
Man: (rummaging through his wallet) YOU'RE
WRONG. They DO match.
Me: Well, sir, that is kind of a subjective call and I don't think that they match.
Man: (pulling out ID) YOU'RE WRONG.
Me: (Taking ID) Thank you, sir.
Me: Here you go.
Me: (nothing)
At this point the man just stands there, holding his newly purchased product in his hand, looking at me angrily.
Me: I hope you have a good afternoon.

At which point the man looked thoroughly pissed and stormed out of the store.
I am quite certain he wanted an apology, which I was not willing to give as I was most certainly not wrong.
The customer immediately behind the older man agreed with me. He, in the two seconds (or so) that he was able to see the back of the card, was able to determine that the signature on the paper looked nothing like the one on the card and was about to say so when the customer left. Instead he just informed me that he was about to interject as a neutral party that I was most certainly not wrong.

I almost hope that the older man calls the district office. I really want them to realize that I handled myself politely and coolly with an irrational and irate customer when I have less than 10 days left in this horrible company.

Story 10:
On or near my last day we had the MEGA-B1TCH come back into our store. I normally don't like calling people names (I don't mind labeling them "ignorant" or "stupid" but names are something I rarely use) but this woman earned it, twice. 
The first time she was a mean, bad, demanding customer. 
Anyway... this particular day she came in and was complaining about her walkman and headphones that she bought at our store. Surprise! she didn't have either with her to trouble shoot. She didn't want to bring them back, she just wanted us to replace the headphones as she was certain that was the problem.
My manager said "Well... I can replace either piece if you have it with you, but I can replace nothing without the original to take back. And I cannot test to see which piece is bad without one of the two pieces here"
She didn't like that, had a minor argument about good customer service and replacing products when needed and then she left.
She did come back later, with the walkman and the headphones.
The problem was that the sound was too low for her to hear while working out in the gym.
I played it. The sound was low.
I turned up the volume on the unit, the sound was low. Then I turned up the volume on the headphones too. The volume went up.
We proved it worked. She decided she wanted a new walkman anyway as turning the volume up on it did not make anything louder (of course had I turned up the volume on the headphones first she would have wanted a new set of those for the same reason). We had exactly on of her model walkman in stock, as always it was the display. She didn't want the display because "it has been handled a lot"
We informed her that it was the last one in the store and she could choose which thoroughly handled walkman she wished to take out of the two in front of her.
She chose the new one and we placed the used one back on the shelf as we had proved that it worked perfectly.
Every time she comes in it is something completely asinine that she has a problem with. Something which, if she would let us, could be fixed. Something which could be fixed by her simply RTFM.
I am glad to never have to deal with her again.