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Friday, February 7, 2014

More from - The Haikus

These are compliments of myself and one of my co-workers... I'll post more as we write them...
The first (and viewable in another post):
Special order stuff
Shipped directly to you
Need name and address

New watch battery
five dollars for me to change
More money elsewhere

New watch battery
Pop off back with screwdriver
Do not stab yourself

"I want a remote"
said the mean cranky old man
"Give me tis one now"

No we do not sell
Crappy patch antennas here
Please look elsewhere

"What is wrong with this?"
"There is nothing wrong with it?"
"Why is it on sale?"

"I am just looking"
Get the f%$k away from me.
I will steal stuff now.

"Do you match prices?"
"No we do not" said the clerk.
"Do it anyway."

Rugrats clocks suck a@s
We ordered too many
Now forever ours.

Toilet paper gone?
How are we supposed to work
Far too many hours?

Employees work hard.
Company steals from us.
Why should I bother?

Too much time at work.
Not enough money to live.
My debt grows larger.

School is expensive
They claim to help pay for it.
Lies, too many lies.

I hate my job much.
I should have left long ago.
I'm not coming back.

This job really sucks
I should leave while I still can
Can't find better now.

My empty paycheck
Disappears every time
Monthly cash outflow

Little old lady
Completely helpless today
Get with the times, please

Women at the shack
can know just as much as me
customers think not.

other places hire
more incompetent people
I am paid far less

"This is defective"
Cardboard still in the unit
"Now it will work fine."

Stupid little kids
Make messes for me to clean
Parents just don't care

Investment broker
Too ignorant to admit
that we might be right

District meeting day
happy fun for employees
we all hate them much

leaving job very soon
going to get twice the pay
twice nothing still zilch

Antenna goes in
RF out to the TV
Baffles too many

Morons do not know
How to use their VCR
RTFM, please.

Throw money at me
You cantankerous old man
I don't wan't to help

No I do not know
Phone numbers for other stores
I suggest phone book.

Incompetent man
Always extreme technophobe
"Change my batteries"

2 8 99
My original hire date
no tenure for me
(Note: tenured employees received $.15 / hour more than non-tenured. "Tenured meant a year at full time or the hours equivalent. This was posted 2-20-02)

Other retailers pay
As opposed to slave labor
So why am I here?

Endlessly spinning
This little planet orbits
R.S. kills us all.

Do you have questions?
I have some of the answers
for stuff purchased HERE.

I bought this elsewhere
It needs a power supply
No, too expensive.

You bought it elsewhere
How am I supposed to know
how to fix that thing?

I want to use both
VCR and Antenna
without cable change

use them the right way
antenna into vcr
then to the TV

no more shack for me
i quit and now i am free
radioshack sucks.

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